Monday, September 10, 2007
Oh no. I think I need some serious reflection here about why I’m going to church. If my suspicions are right, let’s just say, I’ve rather choose to face it and do something about it, albeit, ironically, I don’t want to. Gosh. I’m sliding away; I didn’t expect this day to come, seriously. Whatever it is, I think my nickname on MSN now is so contradicting to my thoughts. The things of the world ARE indeed swaying me. Materialism, money and what have you. Maybe that explains why I’ve been so slip-shot with my QT lately, ok, that’s an understatement, EXTREMELY slip-shot. I’ve always thought of my brother in a really bad image, looks like I’ll need to rethink those horrible thoughts and look at myself first. Is it the people? No, I don’t think so, not at all. Is it the horrible, bitchy thoughts inside me? Dead sure it is. Is it my disposition? It’s been a problem since goodness knows when. Is it the way I see things? Can’t be more wrong.
Sam always tells me this, if I actually know and realize it, that means I am conscious of it, it’s a good sign. Well, now I think I need more than just that. Would any kind, lovely soul care to help this stubborn sheep who’s sliding away here? Oh no. tears are starting to well up, I should end here. At least I know how important God is in my life that tears should well up as I seek help.
watching the sunset with you
11:49 PM
