Sunday, July 01, 2007
With love.
SUN (01/07)
Today was the last day we had Carl and Theresa with us, I learnt many things from the book and from the things they taught us. There definitely are a lot of things which I’ve yet to apply to my life and it definitely life changing too. Sometimes I feel like I’m so sucked in by worldly obsession, when I think about the things which I’ve learnt, I really wonder if people see me as just another person or a girl of God. But there’s something to be pleased about, I’m finally back on track with my QT, after so long! ((:
Oh yes. We were having sermon and I wanted a plaster because of a blister on my right foot. So I asked my two friends beside me, neither of them had a plaster with them, so this other friend of mine said, “Get it from the office lor.” We were in the middle of sermon and I don’t like drawing attention to myself by walking in and out of sermon unless necessary. So after service, I forgot that I needed a plaster because I was talking to people. Then my friend came up to me, completely remembering I needed a plaster and passed one to me and this person is a guy. How nice is that? Most guys would probably not bother, they’ll remind you at the most, but my friend helped me get a plaster. Ok, maybe it’s something to me, but a norm to many others. And don’t get the wrong idea, thank you.
Then here’s another case, we were about to leave the room after IMPACTers ended our meeting. Then Theresa saw this perfume just beside the whiteboard, so she out of curiosity, she took it and read out what it was. Then one of my friends took it from her after she had read it and started spraying it at me, not once, not twice, but THREE times! I could’ve thrown my shoe at my friend since I was already running after him. The scent? Lavender Vanilla. Just in case some of you were wondering what it smells like, it smells EXACTLY like talcum powder! Then my other friend made this comment.
Friend: You know, it’s like after babies shit, the mothers put the powder on them? I went straight up to her and kind of was shouting in her face,
Me: SAM! I was sabotaged and you’re saying this?!
Friend: No. I didn’t mean it that way, just, you know...
And yes, I think everybody knows when talcum powder is applied on babies. It’s a good thing I wasn’t going out after church; people would probably question why this girl smells of baby scent!
SAT (30/06)
Ok, it’s 1225AM now and I’m blogging. This one’s going to be emo, so don’t read it if you don’t like emo posts, ok? Alright, I can appear completely insane and saying nonsensical things at one point, but seriously, I’m just trying to eschew certain issues which I’ve been trying to figure out since goodness knows when. At the back of my head, I know I’m avoiding it, but consciously, I’m just going about my normal routine. So I said that I wouldn’t want to get attach - I think it almost became a vow at one point in time – until I’ve graduated, I just realized, I’m possibly dying in this whole sand storm crap. And no! I AM NOT ATTACHED! How I got myself there, this one, the people whom I’ve told, will know. Completely wrong move I tell you, something just led me there anyway. But that’s not the point, the point is, is it the same for the other person? If I’m so blind and can’t tell from the small puny hints people drop, then of course I wouldn’t have a freaking inkling. There must be a darn way to deal with this whole shit that I got myself into. Why did my mum even put me in an all-girl’s for ELEVEN freaking years anyway? AH!! Spiritually good for me, well, it did do me good in some sense, I have to admit. Moving on, I’m not straight-forward with things like that for a few reasons. 1) I know zilch about handling this whole love crap. 2) Once bitten, twice shy. But I don’t see him as a hindrance anymore; it’s more of the response I’ll get in time to come. 3) I don’t want any awkwardness and whatnot.
So tell me, how does this inexperience, greenhorn actually figure things out with so many things at the back of my head, fighting for top priority. Of course, God comes on top, I sincerely hope. This reminds me, I should just leave it to Him and not bother. And no, I’m not about to put an end to this post just yet. I didn’t come to poly to look for love anyway, I came here to pursue my passion in things which my secondary school couldn’t offer me, I came to poly to put myself in some place vibrant and some place which I know I’ll call my second home because of the people. NP is INDEED the superlative poly to be in (realize the adjective I used.), and looks like I’m going to find myself battling with another tough issue, hopefully and always remembering that I can’t do this on my own, but with the help of God, all things are possible.
Baby, I need to know.
Drop me a hint.
Write me a note.
Don’t make me wait any longer.
The feelings are killing me inside.
watching the sunset with you
11:16 PM
