Sunday, September 17, 2006
torn between the two.
bored bored bored. absolutely nothing to do at all, just waitin for time to past & an sms to tell me tt it's time for me to step out for tuition. haix. well, bein bored & havin absolutely nothing to occupy your time just sucks cux your mind just strts thinkin of stuff & is in a whirl, be it regrets, indelible memories, ecstatic times, crazy things,problems, whatever else. sometimes i just wish i knew what i was doin & sometimes even thinkin! were things really meant to be like that? sometimes you feel stupid for doin cretain things but when you just cant think straight, you just do everything hapharzardly. things might have gotten better but well, should i do what my friend has suggested & just say it aft Os or should i just stick to my decision? by leavin it open? will i hear what i want to hear? or will it be something that'll probably change things in my life?
though you wouldnt read this but i just want to let you know that you did change my prospective of things, things which i thought i always knew. you were an impact in my life, but do you even know that? it was because of you, that ive become what i am today. you made me change my firm decision on things. sometimes i feel that ive let my friends down because not even they can make such a huge impact in my life, like they're only a small part of my life while you're this really huge magnificent part in my life. they've brought me out of this sand storm, put me back on track, helpin me through. sometimes i really wonder whats going through your mind, sometimes i wonder whos on the phone, sometimes i wonder who replaces me durin the times we spent hours on the phone. sometimes i wonder whos been havin those long conversations with you. the times where we would quarrel over such trival & minute matters. who do you turn to when youve got a complain about your mum, dad or even your bro? well, i didnt tell you this before, but your parents & siblings only have your concerns at heart. when ive come to realise certain things, it's already too late. i wasnt sensitive enough, i realised too late. what i saw a month back, was it really what i assumed it to be? or was it just what i was told? as much as i want it to be possible, maybe it's about time i let things go & just focus on my studies. im glad things between the both of us are gettin better, but im sure things can get even better. just friends, nothing more, nothing less. im just askin for another chance, thats all i ask of you. another chance to start all over again, another chance to start on a new fresh page & throw aside what happened between the both of us. my feelings for you had never faded off. sometimes you're unaware of the funny things that you're doin that just perks me up when im down, it seems to me like ya the only want whos able to do that. it seems like you're able to read my mind & know when im down & all stressed up & all you wanna do is just cheer me up, unconsciously. the inane things you do, sometimes, maturity level just never seem to matter to me as long as you're able to perk me up. though someimtes i do find you puerile.
as for my friends, im sorry ive let you all down once again. i know you're all sick of hearin the word sorry from me but that the only thing i can tell you now until ive sort things out & make things known. as for now, i really appreciate you guys for bein there for me whenever i needed you & here are my thank yous & gratitudes to you ppl.
Shehlin: the tyrant little old monkey!! lolx. ok, first & foremost, thanks so much for bein there for me & givin me solutions & your prospective of things. thanks for scoldin me & knockin some sense into me whenever i say things which are really daft. maybe i should really talk things out aft Os huh? but thanks so much for bein my listenin ear whenever i needed one even durin the exams. & yes, ill remind you to study evday & test you ev mornin on what youve studied ok? it'll be of a huge advantage to us, thats one things for sure ; )
Zi Jing: you're forever sayin im too shy about showin my feelings. yeayea, esp to mr koh?! like HELLO?! it's just wrong!! anw, thanks so much for listenin to me & scoldin me on bus trips. all those long talks & naggin i get from you sometimes does help & it does get into my head of course. i know it gets a little borin whenever you hear so much of the same person, but heh. thanks so much in any case ((:
Faiz: TIGRESS!!! youyouyou!! ya always perkin me up whenever i needed someone to make me happy. ya always makin me smile & helpin me download songs which of course makes my day. heh. thanks so much. *hugs*
Aud+YQ: my lovely seniors & advisors. though at times i dont ask you for anything like advises but i wanna thank you two for just simply makin my day. & to YQ, tahnks for the help youve provided me in hist, it really does clear my doubts bout the chps. & to both of you, thanks for crackin so many lame jokes & makin us laugh & addin so much of kick in our life ((:
Karen: im always gettin reprimanded by you whenever i talk to you bout it but thanks so much for bein my listenin ears & givin the reality of things whcih i might not want to see or know. & it's good that youve gotten things worked out, thank me pls! lolx. jkjk.
watching the sunset with you
1:36 PM
